Baseball Bats
“It’s such a broad term!” he said,
taking his eyes off the road to glance at me.
“It can mean so many things.
You could say it to someone you’ve known for years,
or someone you’ve just met.
’Have a good one’
have a good life?
have a good day?
have a good adventure, experience..
it means everything and it’s barely anything at all!”
——————————————————————————————-
I had never seen my dad cry, until about 8 months ago. Now I see it regularly.
He always used to tell me that when I am sad I should pretend that I am happy
so nobody else has to deal with my shit.
I don’t mind that he cries, even if he is being a hypocrite.
It just makes me sad sometimes,
because 8 months ago I was a better person to him, and he loved me.
We had fun together.
We did activites.
Now I’m just a stranger to him, and that’s
what makes him cry.
I’m not a stranger because I want to be one. It’s because he makes it so hard for me
to remain comfortable around him.
———————————————————————————————
And she’s such a bitch sometimes. Always asking me questions that I don’t want to answer.
I’m not trying to conceal from her what makes me sad,
I just wish she asked the questions because she cared about how I felt,
not because she doesn’t have the strength to talk to him
not because she fears what sharp words he’ll throw at her next.
not because
she’s
dying
to know what he said to me.
———————————————————————————————
I know I make him very sad.
because he walked away from his home
even though his hands were frozen.
and i watched him walk away
crying.
all i wanted to do was run out the door
and follow him. but instead i went down to my room
to write this.
he makes me so sad.
and I wish things
were back to the way
that they should
have
stayed.
